Last fall we took our kids to the same canyon we visited a year prior when we captured our last family portrait with Mitch. Only this time we carried with us the original painting my friend and talented artist Tyler Streeter created in honor of our fallen son. 

My chest was heavy and my rib cage physically sore and fatigued from months of prolonged sorrow. Breathing seemed harder than normal this day. 

We hiked along a trail that crossed some wetlands & a pond to the same location we took a photo of our kids when Mitch was with us. Ordinarily I don’t take portraits in part because I prefer capturing life unrehearsed but also because taking photos of young kids is about as easy as herding cats. But my kids have become accustom to me and my camera and they cooperate on the rare occasions I want a portrait style photo. This was one of those moments. 

Last year I posted something that contemplated the economy of love and family. I wrote: “Love is such an interesting phenomenon. When we had our first child I thought to myself "I love this child so much, it is impossible for me to love another human more than this." In fact, I often wondered if I even had the capacity to love another person because the circumference of my love was bursting at the seams. Then, my second child arrived. I discovered that I didn't need to divide the love I felt for my first and share it with my second child. My love multiplied. And so it continued ... with each child my capacity to love increased exponentially. Oh, the arithmetic of family ... the arithmetic of God's plan.”

I love being a father. I have never in my life experienced more joy and more sorrow than I have from being a dad. And as impossibly difficult as it has been I wouldn't trade my life for anything. Through our joys and sorrows we grow. To what end, only God knows. But I have faith whatever burdens I am asked to bear will all make heavenly sense when looking back from over there.



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Painting by http://www.tylerstreeter.com/
Thank you Tyson Breckenridge & Tyler Streeter for reaching out and blessing our family with such a remarkable gift. We are forever in your debt.