I stopped by to visit little Mitch today after work. I was so grateful to have these beautiful arrangements from @robinojones adorn my little boys place of rest. They were so thoughtfully arranged in memory of Mitch and perfectly reflect the tenderness of his heart and the things he treasured.
Mitch loved Christmas with all of his heart, not just because he got presents (what child wouldn't be excited about that?) ... he loved Christmas more because of the spirit of giving and the meaning behind the holiday.
As I sat on the bench and thought about my son, I was reminded of the things that matter most in life. I cried a little and then, unexpectedly, I cried a lot. I felt a strange potpourri of grief and gratitude coursing through my veins.
I believe my heart has healed a great deal since I lost him, but I will always hurt because he's gone. I will always grieve. This is a burden of sorrow I'll carry until the day I die. Sometimes it hurts a little, other times it hurts a lot.
Today grief washed over me like a tidal wave ... yet I knew I wasn't drowning. I was just learning how to swim in a place of never-ending tides, unexpected undertows and a landscape of fluid emotions. I was okay, but not okay ... and that was okay. That's part of being human.