TO BE HUMAN
“Mitchell’s Journey isn’t only about what happened to my son, but what is now happening because of him. ”
Over the last 3 years, I’ve written much on grief because that was my overwhelming reality. I have discovered that, when it comes to the death of a child (which is different than any death I’ve ever experienced), you don’t get over grief … you don’t move past it … you just learn to live with it. You learn to live with chronic pain. Because of that reality, I will still write of grief and my personal journey of healing – but I have much more to say than my personal songs of sorrow.
Mitchell’s Journey isn’t only about what happened to my son, but what is now happening because of him. So, not only will I write more stories of his life and struggle, I’m going to expand my musings by writing more about peace, family and all of the good things in life; a kind of potpourri of perspectives that have come because of little Mitch. Some stories will be funny, others will be filled with textures of peace and love.
Today I feel an overwhelming sense of peace and gratitude, and I have my Father to thank for that. When I look at this photo of Mitch, one warm summer day, I feel a deep sense of joy because he was happy.
This journey has been the hardest experience of my life, but also the most fulfilling. If I had my way in life, being human, I would have avoided pain at all cost. After all, I am human. Yet, in avoiding everything that hurts, I would have ignored the part of me you cannot see … the thing that makes me, me. For comfort, I would have forfeit the opportunity to struggle and grow. That is something my Father knows. I have learned that because of my pain, I have changed. And I think that change is good.
I am grateful to be happy. I am grateful to be human. I am grateful for this little boy, no matter the cost.