This morning we were visited by a woman we met through #mitchellsjourney as Mitch was beginning to die. Her son passed away a few years prior and because of her hardship, she was uniquely prepared to help us navigate the process of death and dying. I spoke of her in my funeral address and described her as a lamp unto our feet as the path before us was dark and very scary.
In town from her home state of Alaska, she had visited us once before about, a year after Mitchell passed away. That, also, was a tender exchange.
Today was a reunion just as sweet as these two mothers joined hearts in loss and love. Laurel, this kind stranger-turned-friend gave Natalie a children's book that had a most beautiful message about the love a mother has for her child. The book is entitled, "Mamma, do you love me?"
As she read the book to Natalie they both cried, and I sat on the couch next to them and cried with them. I will always marvel at the beauty and power of motherhood.
It was an especially hot summer day when two mothers and 4 children walked into Pioneer Park, each with an arm full of gifts they were about to give away. Quietly they began placing all manner of toys throughout the playground. Each toy had a sticker attached to it with an invitation to play with and keep, signed Mitchell’s Journey.
Cathy O’Grady, a follower-turned-friend from Boston, was in Salt Lake City and wanted to do something in memory of little Mitch. So, she purchased two carts of toys that included baseball bats, footballs, bubbles, chalk, soccer balls and other things kids used to play with before the advent of technology … before the age of digital isolation and endless distraction.
She was kind enough to let me follow her and a friend, Tracey Langston, so I could take photos of their random act of love and kindness in memory of Mitch. Each of them wore a Miles for Mitchell shirt because they wanted to take my son with them.
“Watch how parents will put their phones down and suddenly start playing with their children when they’re given a toy.” Cathy said. Sure enough, exactly as she described, I saw it with my own eyes. Parents who moments earlier were busy scrolling through never ending streams of Pinterest posts, social feeds, texts, emails and other things suddenly set their devices down and began to play with their children.
I saw adorable little kids stumble into a lonely soccer ball, pick it up with curiosity and then show it to their parents as though they won a lottery. I marveled at how these small, inexpensive toys changed how people interacted with one another. As these anonymous gifts were discovered, the playground went from friendly to an excited frolic.
After these good Samaritans were done placing toys … when parents and children alike were playing with one another, I told Cathy how humbled I was by her act of kindness. As my eyes filled with tears … fighting back a wave of grief … I told Cathy something about little Mitch just before he passed away. As Mitch was facing the realities of his own death he wept and wept as he told me how much he wished he could be like regular kids. My soul unraveled and my heart fell to the floor as I heard my son describe what he wanted to do in “real life” but could not. “Dad, I don’t want to ride a skate board in a video game, I want to do it for reals.” Mitch sobbed in ways only a dying child can know. And my soul writhed.
I told Cathy how grateful I was for the gifts she gave others. She didn’t just give toys, you see. These little gifts were a means to a much greater end. Cathy gave the gift of play. The gift of relationships.
So, on this hot summer day, never a swing set looked so empty, yet felt so full. I wanted my little boy to be seated there and was pained that he was not. I wished with all of my heart I could push him back and forth, long after the sun set. I wanted to play with Mitch and see his face and hear him laugh, yet he was forever gone. Instead, I saw other children and parents enjoy what I no longer had – and yet my heart swelled with gratitude for their happiness.
I am so grateful for people like Cathy and Tracey … who seek to build others up and serve with love. I wonder how the world would change if everyone gave freely and not want anything in exchange. Something divine happens when we love and lift … for the very act of giving is itself a supernal gift.
You can see more photos of this experience at the park on instagram.com/mitchells_journey/
You can also learn more about Cathy and the many other good works she is doing here: http://sofiasangelsfoundation.org/
As many of our followers know, we had a fundraiser earlier this spring which enabled #mitchellsjourneyto help other families affected by muscular dystrophy, as well as support programs that help kids and parents alike. Among the program's we have sponsored, we donated $2,000 to MDA to sponsor a fishing and swimming excursion at this year's summer camp.
Mitchell loved swimming and fishing, so sponsoring these activities was a perfect opportunity to help boys in memory of our own. These fishing and swimming programs spread over the two week camp for both young and old DMD participants.
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As I was taking photos Natalie pointed to this young boy fishing. He reminded us of little Mitch in so many ways. From the way he spoke out loud (to himself), to his facial expressions, we saw our little son. My heart broke and melted all at the same time.
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These are just a few of the young children that got to participate in the swimming program. Nothing was so rewarding as to see these young children who struggle to walk and play like regular children suddenly enjoy a sense of weightlessness and freedom by playing in the water. I think that is one of the many reasons Mitchell loved to swim.
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This was my sweet wife sitting by the pool watching the children play. Though she wanted her little son there, it brought her some comfort to help other children enjoy activities our son could not.
Thank you to everyone that supported our Miles for Mitchell run earlier this year. Thanks to you, because of your support, we've been blessed with opportunities to serve other families that struggle. We'll post those stories soon.
My beautiful daughter volunteered to be an MDA counselor this summer. This is the little boy she was assigned to be with all week. He is totally and completely adorable. My daughter, knowing his fate, does all she can to help him enjoy ... everything. A few moments after shooting this photo I happened to film them as he tried to fix her hair. I could tell he really felt safe around her and wanted to reciprocate her loving kindness.
There is something magical about service. I have a deep suspicion that most of what troubles the world today could be solved if we all stopped and took time to serve one another. Not necessarily because the act of service will change the life of the recipients as much as it changes the life of the giver. The more we give the more we change. It seems to me that the world has it all backwards: we do not change the world by trying to change it. We can only change the world by changing ourselves, from within. The world is merely an outward reflection of our inward convictions; and the fastest way to change us from within is to serve others.